Sent to you by Phantom via Google Reader:
Last night I had an experience I don't think comes around often.
I went to bed as I usually do, closed my eyes and slipped into a calm, blissful sleep. The dream I had was rather mundane, except for the fact that I kept shitting myself. It was very distressing.. I was going about my daily activities and shit-slurpee kept dribbling down my pant leg. The odd thing is, no one in my dream seemed to notice or care.
Then I woke up and realized what the problem was - and no - I didn't crap all over myself - it must have been something I ate the day before because my ass was so full of fart fumes that it couldn't hold anymore. The fart was literally seeping out of my ass hole.
At the time I wasn't sure if air was all that was backing up the works so I went and sat on the throne, gave a hearty, half-asleep push and … the loudest, longest, fart I have ever heard exploded from my ass with so much force I thought my ass had exploded! - Looked back expecting to see blood, shit, and ass-parts all over the bathroom but sure enough, it was just a fart. Sitting on the toilet only amplified it.. and I live in an apartment.. and I guess my neighbor just happened to be in his bathroom at the same time because the next thing I heard was loud, uncontrollable laughter emanating from the wall.
The funny thing is that it didn't stink at all.
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