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Imagine you are a detective who just showed up at a crime scene. One of the worst crimes in history had just been committed. Millions of dollars stolen, several dead, dozens injured. The only clue you have comes from the video surveillance camera. You play the tape. There is no video, just a single image.
That is how we feel at Number Two Guide. In December 2009, Tyra Banks aired a program entitled "The Grossest People in America." One particular individual, that apparently fits the description, is named Veronica. No video of this episode can be found anywhere on the internet. Just a single image.
Actually…we have two screen shots of Veronica. The first being a fuzzy TV image that has circulated around the web. The image shows Veronica with the caption, "Veronica admits she's obsessed with pooping". The second image can be found on the Tyra show website, with Veronica holding up a sign that only deepens her mystique. What can we de-deuce from these two images?
Clue One: The fuzzy TV Screen Shot - Known Facts:
1. Veronica admits she is obsessed with pooping.
2. Veronica was on the Tyra show.
3. The photographer should get a nicer TV and camera. You can actually get pretty good deals on flat screens these days and it is worth the upgrade.
4. Veronica is a good looking girl. When she musters up the courage to tell a guy about her obsession on the 3rd or 4th date the dude goes along with it like "it's no big deal." Veronica is pleasantly surprised by this, and that night she sleeps with the guy. The next day the guy tells all of his friends about Veronica and Veronica never hears from him again.
5. Her obsession runs so deep that she is on the Tyra show! I can't emphasize that point enough.
6. She looks like she is not very happy to be on the show. Part of her thinks it will be a good way to get her obsession under control, but deep down, another part of her knows that her appearance on the show is going to stir up the other poop addicts. She hopes she will meet her true love.
Clue Two: The Sign - Known Facts:
1. Veronica is a "Poop Talker." Nobody has any clue what that means. Does she like discussing poop at social events? Or perhaps it is an innate superpower, like the horse whisperers, where she can speak the language of the poop and get the logs to flush themselves.
2. If she just likes talking on the phone when she poops, I will feel ripped off. Who doesn't do that?
3. She looks cute in yellow.
4. The girl to her right is not amused, the man to her left is.
5. There is a 17% chance she once tried pooping with her legs crossed.
6. The Tyra show is running out of things to talk about.
It is hard to call someone "mysterious" after she confesses her love for poop on national television, but for now the mystery of Veronica will remain unsolved.
Cue Unsolved Mysteries theme song (cross fingers for an update).
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Wait a minute!!! Veronica Poops has BLACK HAIR!!!!
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