The Daily Deuce

Fecal Chronicles

Monday, October 25, 2010

Can you spot the illegal alien?

Posted by The Phantom Shitter at 5:41 PM No comments:
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    Top Texts (Pre-Twitter Era)


    • "Eating an omelette called the Ditka. Anticipating problems later" --Robert, Chicago, IL
    • " A Weekend of exclusively fried foods and nothing resembling a vegetable has just led to a gigantic log. That was a lot of work, might be time for a nap." --Pope Benedict
    • "Just took a shit the size of my head. I thought burritos only came in that size" La Bamba customer, Champaign, IL
    • "Just made a laxative for dinner some folks call chinese food. Chocolate sauce shooting out my ass" Jeff, DC
    • " I think a dead animal just crawled out of my ass crack" --the Juice, Schaumburg, IL
    • "Poo island in the toilet bowl sea."-- Unknown -
    • "Just dropped a poo with some major girth. Might be walking funny today" -Bill R. Massachusetts
    • Just dropped a major dook. Took an inch of my waist" Charles Gary, Potomac MD
    • "Just had a tear roll out of my eye this poop hurt that much. Wow"
    • "Try Angel Soft....It's choice"
    • "Mucil, grain hustk and 3 days of veg have me pooping logs of eye watering perfection" --Stan, Iowa
    • "Last night at 2:34 AM one of the top 5 dumps of the 21st century was delivered to the NYC sewer system. Thought you alll should know." -- proud New York resident
    • "Plopimus Explosivo!" -- Wayne, Wheaton IL
    • "Fiber is a miracle grain. Try it for your runs. I swear by it." --Guy with the runs
    • "Just Won a Brown Medal" --Olympic hopeful
    • "Just played Beethoven's 5th Symphony out of my bunghole" -- Unknown
    • "I'm letting out some arctic winter ice breakers in the middle stall" Unknown
    • "Squeezin my cheeks walking from the el hoping I dont shit my pants. It's not pretty here" --DAn, Chicago on the commute home from work
    • (In response to a suggestion to get a colonic, writer replied: "Actually current thinking is colonics upsets the bacterial ecosystem's delicate interdependent balancing act--dont polish a turd....let it rock the rear amp stack."
    • "This is an alpha turd......it will finish when it wants and will not be told when that is.....It's like waiting at tje airport."
    • "Just made a turd island in the toilet bowel [sic] sea."
    • "Oh dear, swamp mud emanates from the waste slurp pipe. I was on such a streak until this....." -JP, Austin, TX
    • "I think I just sharted." --Bob, Kansas City
    • "At LaGuardia Airport. I should have eaten this Wendy's meal on teh toilet." -- Holiday Traveler, Chicago
    • "Just hatched a turd so gnarly, it climbed out the bowl and gave itself a courtesy flush." -Joe P., Chicago
    • "Just dropped the kids off at the pool for an afternoon dip." --- Richard, Chicago
    • "Key in door to ass on toilet....3 seconds. Carl Lewis poo dash" --Joe P., Chicago
    • "My ass does plucketh nuggets fro the earthly ether of myriad form and substance, smell and Sensation." ---Padraig O'Halleran, Dublin Ireland
    • "Taking a dump and getting paid for it thanks to you, the American taxpayer. Thank you." ---Unknown, Washington, DC
    • "Backing the proverbial big brown caddy out of the garage--plop" -Unknown

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